A Little Twisted.
A Lot of Fun.
Joyfully dark, comfort-first gear for burnout survivors, functional disasters, and anyone held together by caffeine and bad decisions.
Recently Hatched
Fight or Flight: I Choose Snacks - Unisex T-Shirt
$14.50
When life hits fight-or-flight, this duck hits “order sushi.” This soft unisex tee features a chubby ninja Pekin duck proudly proving that flying is optional when snacks are involved.
Perfect for anxious overthinkers, chaos gremlins, and anyone who copes with stress using sarcasm and carbs instead of cardio. Wear it to the gym, don’t work out, and go straight to dinner.
100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester) for a soft, lightweight feel with the right amount of stretch
4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) fabric, pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and shoulder-to-shoulder taped for comfort and durability
Unisex fit that’s comfortable and flattering on most body types
Blank garment sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Note: Fabric is slightly sheer and can appear a bit see-through in lighter colors or bright lighting—size and color accordingly if you like a more opaque look
Perfect for anxious overthinkers, chaos gremlins, and anyone who copes with stress using sarcasm and carbs instead of cardio. Wear it to the gym, don’t work out, and go straight to dinner.
100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester) for a soft, lightweight feel with the right amount of stretch
4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²) fabric, pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and shoulder-to-shoulder taped for comfort and durability
Unisex fit that’s comfortable and flattering on most body types
Blank garment sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Note: Fabric is slightly sheer and can appear a bit see-through in lighter colors or bright lighting—size and color accordingly if you like a more opaque look
Productivity Powered by Panic
$22.50
This mug tells the truth your planner pretends not to see.
“Productivity powered by panic and caffeine” sits front and center over a frazzled little duck clutching its coffee like a life raft, perfectly capturing that specific flavor of “I am stressed, but I will get this done.”
It is the ideal companion for chaotic workdays, looming deadlines, and anyone whose motivation shows up fifteen minutes after their anxiety.
Great for home, office, or your “do not schedule meetings before this is empty” mug
A+ gift for overachievers, procrastinators, and functional disasters
• Tapered stainless steel body
• Transparent press-in plastic lid
• Capacity: 20 oz (600 ml)
• Height: 6.77″ (17.20 cm)
• Diameter: 2.83″–3.39″ (7.20 cm–8.60 cm)
• Weight: 11.04 oz (313 g)
• Double-walled vacuum seal insulation
• Glossy finish
• Dishwasher-safe
“Productivity powered by panic and caffeine” sits front and center over a frazzled little duck clutching its coffee like a life raft, perfectly capturing that specific flavor of “I am stressed, but I will get this done.”
It is the ideal companion for chaotic workdays, looming deadlines, and anyone whose motivation shows up fifteen minutes after their anxiety.
Great for home, office, or your “do not schedule meetings before this is empty” mug
A+ gift for overachievers, procrastinators, and functional disasters
• Tapered stainless steel body
• Transparent press-in plastic lid
• Capacity: 20 oz (600 ml)
• Height: 6.77″ (17.20 cm)
• Diameter: 2.83″–3.39″ (7.20 cm–8.60 cm)
• Weight: 11.04 oz (313 g)
• Double-walled vacuum seal insulation
• Glossy finish
• Dishwasher-safe
Caffeine Container: Functional Disaster Edition
from $6.50
This little duck is holding it together about as well as you are.
Our “Functional disaster” mug is perfect for the mornings when you are technically awake, spiritually offline, and relying on caffeine to keep the whole operation running.
Fill it up and let the frazzled duck do the oversharing for you while you focus on not quitting everything before 9 a.m.
Great for coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you mostly functional
Available in 12, 15, and 20 oz so you can pick your required dosage level
Sturdy ceramic with a glossy finish that survives dishwashers, microwaves, and mild life crises
Perfect gift for coworkers, friends, or anyone whose job title might as well be “professional problem juggler”
Our “Functional disaster” mug is perfect for the mornings when you are technically awake, spiritually offline, and relying on caffeine to keep the whole operation running.
Fill it up and let the frazzled duck do the oversharing for you while you focus on not quitting everything before 9 a.m.
Great for coffee, tea, or whatever keeps you mostly functional
Available in 12, 15, and 20 oz so you can pick your required dosage level
Sturdy ceramic with a glossy finish that survives dishwashers, microwaves, and mild life crises
Perfect gift for coworkers, friends, or anyone whose job title might as well be “professional problem juggler”
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